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Dog vs. Cat Attitude

Hello world!

This morning I heard a wonderful story about having a Dog vs. Cat attitude and I couldn’t resist sharing. The person, who narrated the story was John C. Maxwell, and he brought superb spirit to the story. If you wanna listen to the story, play below speech at 36:33. But f you prefer reading it, read the story below the video.

And before you start with the video, I would like to share with you my opinion about attitude. I think that attitude is what feeling looks like. As you must have heard before, everyone always talks about having a good attitude. But I think, if you get the inner feeling right, it will show in good attitude anyway.

Second, I would like to give you my opinion about having a fulfilling life, Continue reading Dog vs. Cat Attitude

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Making Peace with Pains

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I have just spent a week of consciously walking up to my Pains and walking through them. Why do that?

In below video, Tony Robbins said that we humans do everything for one of two reasons and that is, either to avoid Pain or gain Pleasure2

And further he said, 2

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So having bought into his proposition, I set the intention for all the Pains residing inside me to surface. Then about half an hour later, I started crying. Suddenly tears flooded my eyes and I started crying rivers. I cried hard, very hard like this. 2

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And the reason for that much tears to burst open was because of the Pain I had buried deep inside my heart for having to live life without my sweet boyfriend.

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It was 7 years back and our relationship had to come to an end as, given the wide cultural difference, he thought that was better for his future…. Here I say “his future” because I still haven’t bought into his choice, you see….

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You know, by the time he had come to the conclusion that the future without me was better for him, I had come to a point in our relationship where I saw him and myself as one unit.

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So when the day came for me to leave him, if I had let myself shed a single tear, a flood of tears would have come after it and I wouldn’t have been able to function.

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So I told myself to be strong, I swallowed back my bubbling tears with my eyes and every single second, I made sure to distract my thoughts from going back to him.

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But regardless of how much I tried to distract myself, thoughts of him kept coming back to me all the time, so I did this in my mind: “I took out the love I had for him from my heart, put it in a box and stored the box on the topmost shelf of a dark storage room so that it won’t keep popping up in my daily life and make me sad all the time.”

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But even though we were physically separated, we kept staying together in spirit for months by chatting and calling on Skype. And despite my mind knowing that our life together was over, my heart clung to him and refused to move on. So I had to use force once again and I blocked him on “Skype”. And that meant pretty much blocking him from my life….

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When I blocked him from my life, he must have thought that I hated him, but the truth was the exact opposite. I loved him so much that it hurt me not to be able to be part of his life, do the things we did together and finish the day with sweet “Good night!” kisses.

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Without him, my life was empty and dark for a long long time….

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I tried to fill in the emptiness with work, but that made it worse. Then I went on search of things that would fill in the emptiness….

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While wandering around, I ended up forgetting about the Pain. But when I set the intention to feel the Pains in my heart, it came up again. So faced with the Pain again, I looked up to spiritual teachers and all of them are saying that I should let myself feel the Pain by being fully present with it instead of trying to suppress it, repress it or replace it with other things.

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So for the past one week, I have been sitting with my Pain and been generous with my tears.

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And while processing the feelings, I came to see that for me, He was my Home. (I think I will write more about it later.)

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So this is what I have been emotionally up to in my personal life for the past one week and I am curious to see how I will transform after this Pain-processing is complete. And I am expecting to transform because the spiritual teachers said that is what happens when someone chooses to walk through one’s Pain.

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And I am also curious to know if there is any other long-forgotten Pains residing in my heart. If there is, that will be the next to process.

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And by the way, tomorrow is my sweet boyfriend’s birthday. 🙂

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Be you, be unique

Bella

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My first deadliest sin: I take offense

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Since setting the intention to embrace my Dark Sides, awful lot of Dark Qualities are surfacing from inside me and I am just aghast at the fact that those destructive qualities have been living inside me all along and I didn’t know that they existed. Unbelievable!

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The first deadliest sin (I call it so because I consider it that terrible!) that surfaced was the fact that I take offense easily. Before this sin surfaced to my consciousness this time for the first time, I always thought that people were offending me with their words, actions or misbehavior. But it turns out that I have been the wrong one, who chose to take offense at her own will.

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Having found this sin of mine, I went back in time to recall all the incidents where people seemed to offend me and I found that the most absurd case is when I used to get offended by my sweetest boyfriend’s jokes…. In reality, he was someone who didn’t even hurt a fly. Instead of killing flies, he used to chase them out the window. So being such a loving person, how could he have intended to offend me at all? But I used to take one nonetheless. Oh boy!

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Anyway, I am trying not to cry over spilled milk for too long and want to get over this guilty feeling. And past being past, now I am determined to master my reactions when such feelings are triggered.

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Finally, if you have been wondering how taking offense is such a deadly sin after all, please go ahead and watch below sermon of David S. Winston2

In short, taking offense destroys relationships. So if you value your relationships, I suggest that you look inward as well and see if you are nurturing the seed of this deadly sin as well.

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Be you, be unique

Bella

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I wanna be Me full-time!

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After reading several dozen quotes on being yourself, being unique, and also watching a video or two of those, who are staying true to their unique selves, I have come to the realization that I need to allow myself to be myself, be my unique self more of the time, if not full-time.

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Furthermore, I understood that once somebody is and acts his/her unique self, s/he naturally feels and becomes awesome, beautiful and extraordinary.

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So now I am going to set out on a journey to set my true self, unique self free. Right now, I think I do that part time. But one place I am sure that I be my unique self all the time is this Sweet Blog, which teems with creativity, beauty, humor, surprises, emotions and earnest. And maybe that’s why my Sweet Blog feels so much like home!

And having this intention, I totally connected with below video of Michelle Phan, who has also wrestled with the same issue. 2

At the end of the video, she says, “Back then I was just someone, who was showing you how to look more beautiful. Now I want to show you how to feel more beautiful.” And I think the way to achieve that is to help people be themselves, be their unique selves.

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Be you, be unique

Bella

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I am a Loser

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These days I am on the journey of embracing and integrating my Dark Sides, and today in particular, I am embracing my Loserdom.  Yeppy!

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Since 6th grade, when I became ambitious, I carried this heavy burden of having to become successful. And since that was my all-important goal in life, I abhorred anything that resembled Loserdom. And abhor, I did!

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But last night I realized that when you bring out your Unique Self to the world, you can’t help, but be happy and successful.

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So now I want to know what makes me truly Unique and sets me apart from everyone else. And when I focus on that, everything else is falling apart in significance, including traditional definition of success. So I accept the fact that I have failed in the traditional sense of success and I am happy to call myself a Loser.

And you know how it feels to embrace the one thing that I abhorred the most in life?

Well, it feels liberating!

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Oh by the way, if you want to see an awesome example of someone, who has totally embraced his Loserdom, look no further than the American Drifter1

And more 2

 

Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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I want Hum too

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Last night I watched below video and I realized that I am missing something for work. That missing something is called Hum in Shonda Rhimes‘ language. Watch below TedTalk of hers for the Hum parts. 2

You know, I loved the description of her Hum so much that I wrote down the relevant parts below. 2

“I love working. It is creative, mechanical, exhausting, exhilarating, hilarious, disturbing, clinical, maternal, crucial and judicious, and what makes it all so good is the Hum. There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good. A Hum begins in my brain, and it grows and it grows, and the Hum sounds like the open road and I can drive it for ever.

It wasn’t until I started television that I started working, making, building, creating and collaborating that I discovered this thing, this buzz, this rush, this Hum. The Hum is more than writing. The Hum is action and activity. The Hum is a drug. The Hum is music. The Hum is light and air. The Hum is God’s Whisper right in my ear.

And when you have a Hum like that you can’t help, but strive for Greatness. That feeling, you can’t help striving for Greatness at any cost. That is called the Hum.

The Hum is not power. The Hum is not work-specific. The Hum is joy-specific. The real Hum is love-specific. The Hum is the electricity that comes from being excited by life. The real Hum is confidence and peace…. The real Hum is singular and original. The real Hum is God’s Whisper in my ear.

The Hum of the Universe fills me up. The very act of not working has made it possible for the Hum to return as if the Hum‘s engine can be only refueled while I was away.

One day the floodgates were opened and I found myself standing in my office fueled with an unfamiliar melody and groove inside me and around me, spinning with ideas, Humming road is open and I could drive it and drive it and I love working again.”

When I watched this talk of Shonda, I was surprised to know that such a Hum exists and I saw that I was missing it. Perhaps I have never felt it so far ’cause when she describes the Hum I could relate to it so remotely.

Up until the end of my last job, I got things done at work mostly through efforts, struggles and hard work. And in this current job, I get things done via the path of least resistance. But now I see that Hum exists. So I want it, I am going to call for it and I am going to have it.

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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Growing Comfortable with Discomfort

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Lately a surprising new development is taking place in me and that is I am growing to be very Comfortable with discomfort. After watching some videos about going beyond one’s comfort zone, one month ago, I posted below picture on Facebook and did wish/intend to challenge my comfort zones. 2

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Then in the past couple of days, I have noticed myself being very Comfortable in situations, which would previously make me cringe with guilt or shame. For instance, right now I am supposed to be working, but I just cannot bring myself to doing anything other than romancing with my sweet blog. And if, right now, any of my colleagues or bosses asks me what I am up to, I would graciously stand tall and tell him or her that I am romancing with my sweet blog rather than working.

And if I dig into the depths of this new development, it seem to be a matter choosing myself over others. So when uncomfortable situations come up, I think that my subconscious mind is asking “Do I betray myself? or do I betray the other person or thing?” and then choosing not to betray myself.

Talking about Self-betrayal, I had watched below conversation several times before. And when I watched it again just now, every word of Caroline Myss is hitting home at the deepest level of my core. Oh so good! 1

Also another conversation that I liked on this subject is the below one of Shonda Rhimes and Oprah2

As you see in Shonda‘s talk, in life, we constantly face situations where we need to make a choice between two exclusive matters and many times one of the choices concerns our own well-being. So I think, there should be no hard feelings as a consequence of making difficult choices.

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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Where are you now?

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The first time I wrote the post titled “Where are you now?“, I was a lost soul longing for someone else to complete me. Since then it has been 356 days and I have turned into a fully empowered Earth Goddess, who completes herself.

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Now I create my life from the core of myself. No more going after things and people ’cause I draw them to me. Divine Energy runs through me and washes away the darkness and ugliness that was residing inside me. So everyday I get lighter and lighter, and brighter and brighter.

Now what I feel in my feelings and emotions, I want to feel in my physical body, and of course, I am referring to none other than the Divine Energy. In rare occasions, I have felt it in the past and I wrote about the experiences in posts like this: My “Qi” experiences

So, intoxicated by the feeling of Divine Energy, now I am craving to experience it all over my body flaming like gentle fire. I have been there, done that, so I am craving for it….

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So longing for the miraculous warm flame, my soul is calling out to it, singing “Where are you now?

Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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Oh Prayer Prayer

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Since last night I am being called to explore about Prayers. When I say Prayers, I am not talking about the begging-kind-of Prayers that most people do, but the God-hugging kind of feeling and appreciation that bursts from my chest.

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Lately such bursts are getting quite frequent and intense, and each time that happens I find myself searching for something to give its expression into. So thinking, maybe finding the right Prayers will help me ground.

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So I explored what spiritual teachers have to say about Prayers and below are my favorite ones. 2

After watching above definitions of Prayers, it looks like Prayers can be anything that you want to tell God. So I think I will do just that.

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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Shame turning into Compassion

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The last time I left you with my confusing Shame Secrets post and since then I felt no calling for writing until this morning. And this morning I woke up with the feeling that the Shame is gradually transforming into a feeling of deep Compassion. Compassion for everyone, who has been in the same situations as I have been and who has felt and still is feeling what awful feelings and emotions I have felt in the past.

So what am I referring to? Well, ugly feelings and emotions like these. 2

  • Loneliness (This tops my list and I still haven’t gotten totally over this one.)
  • Powerlessness
  • Out of control
  • Neglected
  • Helplessness
  • Insecure
  • Taken advantage of
  • Unappreciated
  • Unimportant
  • Unloved

Looking back, I see that these feelings have overcome me when I left the safety net of my roots. Anyway, now I have overcome almost all of them with the exception of Loneliness and soon I trust that I will overcome this poor feeling of Loneliness as well.

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And after dissolving above awful feelings, of course my emotional direction is moving towards their polar opposites. So these days, I usually feel secure, appreciated, supported and cared about, and I am discovering new states of being powerful, in control and important (more to be shared about them in a post later). And the feeling I most look forward to receiving once again is to be soaked in love. Just like my Indian boyfriend used to soak me in deep love.

You know, when we were together, he used to make me live in love. Love vibrated from his being towards me and all around. My favorite was to hear love in his voice. At the end of our being together, the weight of his love in his voice kept growing heavier and heavier, and that was so bittersweet for me knowing that our road together was coming to an end soon.

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Anyway, all is moving towards an amazing direction and it is just a matter of time until I will be soaked in that much love once again and be felt:

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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How to burn my Shame Secrets?

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Have you heard spiritual teachers say that in order to let go of our bad past, we need to recall the incident mentally and sit in it emotionally and only then that negative incidents dissolves? Well, that’s what they teach and that’s exactly what I am doing right now–I am sitting in a mud of Shame.

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Well, it turns out that I have always been sitting in this mud of Shame for the past few years until its presence just made itself known to me right now. Suddenly finding myself conscious of the mud, right now I have no idea what to do about it. So just sitting here and feeling the Shame.

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Oh by the way, before I started this post, I started a list of all the things that make me cringe with Shame and the list is getting longer and longer. And I will call these items on the list Shame Secrets, as these are the things that I avoid thinking about, let alone face them or tell them to others.

As I look through the list, I see that some of the Shame Secrets are fixable, some I can grow to appreciate, for some I can forgive myself and some just need to be let go.

In below Ted Talk, Brene Brown distinguishes between Guilt and Shame. As per her, Guilt is when we think “I did something bad” and Shame is when we think “I am bad”. And in my case, I am calling whatever makes me feel awful about myself Shame.

So what next?

I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to have any Shame Secrets that make me cringe and feel awful. In above talk, Brene says that Shame cannot survive in the presence of Empathy. So does that mean I need to share the Shame Secrets with somebody? Or with whoever I need to share? Or write here?

Well, none of these options feel right to me. So perhaps the Empathy formula isn’t the only one that works. So I wonder what is the right formula that works for me in my specific situations…. If it was possible, I just wanna collect all the Shame Secrets and burn them to ashes all at once.

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella

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Should I wait? Or should I face?

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I am really confused about something, so I need to ask God for the right answer. And here is the issue:

You know, on one side, Abraham Hicks teaches that the path of least resistance is the right way to go about anything and trying to make something happen is the wrong way.

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However, on the other side, Neale Donald Walsh and many other spiritual teachers profess that it is only through facing and processing what makes us feel uncomfortable and fearful, do we release resistance.

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So do you see that these two teachings are conflicting in nature? Or is it me who is missing the critical link between the two?

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You know, there are several issues in my life that I would like to grow comfortable with. However, I don’t know which path to take…. Do I wait and let the resistance dissolve on its own and let situations take care of themselves? Or should I consciously face the issues and try to “fix” them?

What is the right way? Please help me with the answer God.

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Feel wonderful! 

Bella