Today I chilled and rested with a few of Iyanla‘s latest videos and below one was a real treasure that opened my eyes to the concept of healthy relationships. In below video, Iyanla describes what healthy relationships are like. When she says relationship, she means all types of relationships between two human-beings in general. So the definition includes friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, etc.
When I heard the beautiful definition she gave on healthy relationships, every word of her described the amazing relationship Linda and I have with each other, and below are some of Iyanla‘s descriptions:
“… In a healthy relationship, you can be your authentic self, real self at all times with the person you are in a relationship with.
In a healthy relationship, you get to be you as you change and shift and grow without being expected to be who the other person or people want you to be in order to keep them comfortable.
In a healthy relationship, when things get tough, trust, truth, honesty, respect, compassion, forgiveness and compromise take precedence over being right and having your own way.
In a healthy relationship, you are willing to love selflessly and you enjoy looking for the little ways to keep the love in your relationship alive. You give without expectation of anything in return. You find ways to crank up the energy in the relationship. You pay attention to what the other person likes, wants, needs, and when possible, you support it or provide it.
In a healthy relationship, you keep looking for ways that you can rekindle that spark, that connection, that energy that makes you enjoy being together.
A healthy relationship is also the one that you prepare to work for and work on. A healthy relationship requires a lot of work. However, when you want to be in the relationship, when you are passionate about the relationship and its health, it won’t seem like work at all….”
Beautiful definitions! Aren’t they?
And besides describing healthy relationships, Iyanla also provides the keys to building such relationships, and they are the followings:
- Communicate, communicate, communicate, and listen.
- Stay present in your relationship.
- Be excited about being able to spend time with the other person.
- Stand for, with and by each other.
When I heard these beautiful definitions and the keys, all of them sounded like the things that Linda and I naturally do with each other and for each other. So I’m thinking, “Now that I know what the gold standard of relationships feels like for me, why don’t I consciously try to polish every other relationship and see how many I can upgrade?“