Posted on

Have I Retired?

When I left my last job, I thought I would take 3 months to stop and smell the roses. (As per Wiktionary, the definition of “smell the roses” is to relax, to take time out of one’s busy schedule to enjoy or appreciate the beauty of life.)

6-Morgiana-1972

At first, smelling the roses was good, so good, even all that I needed. Then beyond 3 months I started smelling the butterflies… The butterflies came out everywhere and they landed on my shoulder, they landed on my nose and they just landed all over me… So I couldn’t help smelling the fragrant butterflies… 

Now it has been 8+ months since I stopped to take a break, but my next job is nowhere to be seen…

Actually, there was a job that I had really wanted to do. It looked so ideal. I made all the necessary preparations including buying heaps of white shirts and adopting a French-style nailcode. But at the end of so much time and money dedication, it didn’t work out…

Well, at least I thought it didn’t work out. What I mean is that yesterday I came up with an idea that will make it work. I feel so sure that it will work because it has worked with my current company. But you know what?

Smelling the fragrant butterflies has changed me. It has changed me a BIG time. And as a result, I feel no more desire to do that job. And the reason is that job is mostly about the big sum of money that I will potentially pocket, but there is no creativity in it at all. So I feel no more desire for that job…

So what next? 

I don’t know. 

All I know is that the next job is not going to be only about money, but it is going to be all about bringing out the best in me. In fact, it will be a job that I will enjoy doing so much that getting paid or not getting paid won’t make a difference to me. But of course I won’t mind it if they wanna pay me. 😉

So these days I am curiously wondering what my next job is going to be, when it is going to pop up and how it is going to pop up…

I actually saw the first-day-walking-into-the-new-job scene in a magic dream not long ago. The luxurious office was in a tall building. The office I walked into seemed to be on the ground floor. A woman of 40+ years old and a young guy of 20+ years greeted me. And they welcomed me with great respect and awe; and when I assumed that I would be working in that office, the lady said “Your office is on an upper floor. You have an office of your own.” Then she walked towards me to take me to my office. And at that point I tried to look at the face of the woman and the guy, but due to some strange eye distortion, I couldn’t see them clearly above their knees. I tried very hard to fix the distortion in my eyes, but it didn’t clear. So I walked out with the lady.

So that much I know about my next job…

And plus it will be something that I really want to do. Like how I do what I do now. For example, because I want to dance, I take dance classes and go to Conexion on a regular basis. And because I want to have my voice heard to the public, I speak at my Toastmasters club. And because I want to meaningfully connect with expatriates from all over the world, I became an InterNations Ambassador and live the InterNations lifestyle.

So in my next job, I won’t be working for money, but working for passion. But wait a second!

Isn’t that what retirees do?  

I think it is. 

So am I a retiree now? Have I retired?

I think I have. 

fly_butterfly

Feel good! 

Bella

2 thoughts on “Have I Retired?

  1. […] you, it may not seem like a BIG deal, but to me it is a BIG deal because I have spent 8+ months trying to figure out what my real Calling is… And when I figured it out, I realized that I had […]

  2. […] Initially, I did intend to find a new job, but after a while I totally lost my desire and in fact, I wondered if I had retired just like that. But looking back what seemed like the failing efforts and internal conflict turned […]

Leave a Reply