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The Man with the Purest Heart

His signature at the end of each email he wrote to me was “Have fun!” Have fun? Back then having fun wasn’t in my vocabulary…

I fell in love with him at first sight, sitting across a large boring conference room. It was an investment conference, the annual investment conference. A boring fat politician was sitting behind the microphone and he lulled our minds to sleep…

My wandering mind rose up to the ceiling first and then started floating around the spacious conference room in that government building…

Then suddenly I saw someone, far in the distant corner of that huge space. The man I saw was the most beautiful scene I had ever watched. So I kept watching. He was dressed in a black suit and a white shirt, typical of investment bankers. And typical of investment bankers, he was busy with his blackberry. And I just kept watching him… 

One minute he is typing something on his blackberry and the next minute he raises his phone to his ear and then moves around on his seat as if trying to catch the right spot of the running mobile network… And I just kept watching him…

And I watched him for so long until the boring politician finished and until that conference session finished. I watched him without diverting my eyes. But he didn’t see me because I was far in the distance and because he was busy with his blackberry…

And with that boring conference, the whole investment forum finished. I stepped out into the fresh air and it was almost mid-September. I was happy to be standing in the sun and happy to know that the boring investment forum days were over… But little did I know that I was standing there not knowing that my whole life course will change because of the scene that I had been just watching …  

That day was a Friday and Fridays were my dancing days in those times. That night I called a cousin of mine to go out together. She is an amazing dancer too. Before going out, we (4 cousins) had one of our cute girl times at my home and sitting on my bed, I had below picture taken by either Linda or the other teenage cousin I was fostering back then.

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Then my dancer cousin (3 years younger than me) and I went to Strings, my favorite night club back then. My cousin was dressed in brown, the  brown mini skirt and the sexy tank top set that I had designed and she had stitched.

And I was wearing white, all white. In Strings, I stood tall, feeling gorgeous and wearing the same Nike top that you see in above picture and a pair of tight white sports pants that I loved in those days. And a gorgeous bronze tan all over my face and body, still fresh from my Antalya holiday a few weeks earlier.

In fact, this is how I looked that night except for the top:

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The moment we walked into the club, we walked up to the dance floor. I started shaking it like I do and she started making her graceful belly dance-like moves. And we had many eyes on us…

We were loving it, I was shaking it and once when I turned around while dancing, I saw the man from the conference scene walking in with a colleague…

You know what happened then? I got ecstatic. I didn’t know what to do. My heart started pounding. And I had to do something…

And when I came to myself after a while, I used a bad music break to fetch us a drink and stand closer to the man from the conference scene

We got the drinks and positioned ourselves 4, 5 steps from the man from the conference scene and his colleague. This time I stood with my back facing them and my cousin in front of me and she started reporting me on what she was seeing beyond my left shoulder…

I liked what I was hearing and naturally danced to tease him. Thinking back, I must have done a peacock dance…

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After a few sips of cold white wine, I got the courage. Plus, white wine makes me feel flirtatious…

That night I was carrying the same black classy purse that I had carried to the investment forum earlier and in it, there was my business card case and in the business card case, there was my business card.

So I slipped out one business card, turned around and walked up to him. And as I got to him, I extended my business card and said “Hi, my name is Baira and I saw you at the investment conference today.” 

And that’s how we made our first contact. And since then, we stayed in contact and after several email exchanges, I flew to visit him in Hong Kong.

He showed me Hong Kong. The first place we visited was Times Square. And in front of Times Square, he took below picture of me. (Notice I am wearing the same Nike top. Told you, it was my favorite top in that time span.)

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Then we visited other places… Then we joined his friends who were also visiting from Australia… We did many things, including a car ride around Hong Kong Island. Watch below 8-second video for the start of the fun ride:

And did you see the small face in the front mirror of the car? Yes? Well, that’s the man from the conference scene.

Then we travelled to Tianjin, China. There I made my favorite video of him. That video is my favorite because he was being innocently silly…

He didn’t know that I was recording him, so he just kept posing for the picture that was somehow taking too long… When he found out, he tried to grab my camera and delete it. But I won the wrestling on the bed and got to keep my favorite video of him.

Back then I was living in Mongolia and he was living in Hong Kong. So we mostly stayed in touch via email… The emails were few and far in between… And seeing his name in Bold in the Inbox used to turn me to ecstasy…

Some emails of him I used to read, reread and then reread over and over again. Especially the ones with a more personal touch… And at the end of every email, he wrote “Have fun!

That way one full spring, summer, autumn and winter passed and I had applied and been accepted to study for masters degree in New York. All was well with my plan to study in New York until one day a thought occured…“Why not Hong Kong? Maybe…”

When the thought occurred, I didn’t have a moment to hesitate. I cancelled my New York plan and started with a uni application all over again. And this time for Hong Kong.

And my change of plan set me behind by one semester only, but it altered my whole life… I can’t say that the reason for the change was 100% because of the man from the conference scene. But it had a 50% weight for sure.

Being an ideal student (at least I would like to think so), I got easily accepted to the ideal masters program I wanted in Hong Kong. When the uni started in fall, I moved there and I was hopeful.

I hoped that because we were living in the same city, I would have more chances to see the man from the conference scene often… or even something more would develop… But because of his demanding i-banker schedule, the frequency of me getting to see him was barely better than me being in Mongolia

And I was lonely. I was lonely to my core. You know, because I grew up surrounded by large extended families on both parents’ side, I had an issue with being alone. To me, being alone means being lonely, and being lonely means being sad… sad and neglected

If you have read my other true stories, I still wrestle with the issue to this day… But at this wise age of 33+, I have gotten better at distracting myself with other things…

And alone and lonely in a new city without friends or relatives, I endured one fall. Then one winter. But at the end of the winter, I had to move on… because there was enough of waiting and no more hope…

Each time he had to postpone our planned catch-ups due to major global mergers and acquisitions or anything else he was working on , the man from the conference scene would say “I am sorry, but I will make it up to you…”

But he didn’t make it up to me sooner enough, so I had to move on… And I moved unto a sweethearted boyfriend–one who showed his feelings for me through his sweet actions. And the best part of the relationship was that he would ask me to stay with him days in a row. The first time I stayed with him, I ended up staying there 19 days in a row… And that was healing

In fact, he soaked me in tender love and care, and pampered me all around the clock… just like Linda does. And at the end of that long, secure and loving relationship, I had turned into a baby-talker. I mean in the presence of the tender loving boyfriend.

Linda used to tease me about that when I talked to him on the phone, Skype or when we were altogether… But that’s how he had programmed me, BECAUSE in his eyes, I was the baby, the one whom he always called “Baby”. Maybe I will write a story about him one day too…

And the bizarre thing is that the man from the conference scene and the tender loving boyfriend had friends in common and many Friday nights they’d hang out in a group together and have fun… I know, it is one of those “Are you kidding me?” coincidences…

Probably they wouldn’t have known their yet another connection, if I hadn’t introduced them to one another the morning I had met the tender loving boyfriend the first time… But that’s what happened. They hang out together.

Were they weird about it? I don’t know… But I did use to get some information about the man from the conference scene, which later proved false. Once, shortly after I had moved unto the boyfriend, I was told that the man from the conference scene was a married man. I didn’t believe it. I refused to believe it because I knew that the man from the conference scene would never lie, cheat or mislead anybody. And I was right in that instance…

… but later I heard from the same source that the man from the conference scene has a baby son… That I don’t know if it is true… I hope it’s true because he deserves a happy family.

And after my road split with the tender loving boyfriend due to life, my road rejoined with the man from the conference scene to some extent. Many things happened and as a result, now I owe him.

I owe him for many reasons and above all I owe him for believing in me a BIG TIME… And while those many things were happening, I ended up tormenting him in many ways… At times, he must have regretted knowing me… But I didn’t torment him because I was evil… I said and did the things I did because either circumstances were changing too swiftly or I had to choose one–him or Linda, or at times, myself. And sometimes things were just out of control and I felt helpless…

There are several emails of him that I didn’t dare to open and read. They still remain unread today… and that’s the reason he never got to hear from me on those emails… And I couldn’t dare to open and read those emails of him because I feared to face what would be written there… and I still fear to this day…

But I will make it up to him. One day I will make it up to him a BIG TIME because along the course of many things happening, I got to know that the man from the conference scene is the man with the purest heart and the highest integrity.

And I am sorry that I had to take him through a rough road, and I hope that he will find space in his heart to forgive me.

And I will prove him right in believing in me. I will prove him SO RIGHT!

2 thoughts on “The Man with the Purest Heart

  1. […] the second case, the man didn’t even know my feelings for him until too late. And when I told him after it […]

  2. […] came the Green Lantern, who was the only man I fell in love with at first sight, without knowing anything about him at all. And when I got to know him, I fell in love […]

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